Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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