he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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