I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
