She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
