okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
