and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
