y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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