so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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