What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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