wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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