Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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