That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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