New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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