so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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