I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
