Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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