I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
