i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
