So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
