real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize