I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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