I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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