i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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