Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
