i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
