eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
