Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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