You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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