talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Randomize
