I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
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