I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you had me at cake vodka
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
