i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
