shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
