and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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