we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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