Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
