No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
