the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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