Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
