And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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