That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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