you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
