If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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