She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
