Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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