i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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