i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
