thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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