remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
