then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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