Can Purell be used as lube?
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
