i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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