My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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