it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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