Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
