Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you win again, gameday.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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