There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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