The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
