There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
